For the longest time, I have always believed that loving “too much” does not exist, primarily because loving is an all or nothing game. It’s either you love that person, or don’t love that person at all. But I have come to realize that in another angle; it could also exist.
Love requires time, effort and attention to say the least. But those are just the reflex manifestation of a deep emotion bursting inside you towards a person. An attraction, but in a grand manner. An affection, but in an overflowing manner. An emotion not tapped by anyone but by that single person. A space in your soul you have always reserved for that person. It’s the fundamental of all the fundamentals of love.
And that’s where we see that there could be “too much”.
In an equal-effort relationship, it should be a 50-50 split between the two. It can be complimentary or just perfectly double. But when that inner emotion towards a person is lesser than what you have, that is when “too much” comes in. When that person only loves you this much, and you love that person way above, then we see that excess.
Frustrating and dementing. You pour in 5 cups, that person 3 cups. You run the extra mile, that person does not even get to reach the line. You see that person in lens of joy and ecstasy, you are viewed in lens of stability. Uneven. Tiring. Endless chasing.
You love “too much”. You put up a show that the game is fair and square. You cover the holes. You give more of yourself. And you might get tired.
Three possible things. First, lower that, and be kinder to yourself, but you might lower it “too much”. Second, pull that person up, even if it takes time, but it might end up that person pulling you down. Third, find a person who could reciprocate that mass of “love” you have in you.
PR 2264 (Flight to Naga)