As per some of my experience, I encountered these 3 types of reaction when I shared with other people my small sentiments that after sharing, how I wish I actually never told that person anything.
- The “3-second care”. It is characterized by sympathetic face, then followed by “Ahh. OK.” The person who actually tried to listen to your concern, but is too busy to munch in your concern. Or just the person who tried his best to give you time to share your concern, but then you just went overboard to his timecap of attention, and he would just want to finish your conversation with him. And to give you at least an amount of care, he gives you that sympathetic look, then comes the attempt to end the conversation. With more than 50% chance, he would never remember what you said when there would come a time you would refer back to your conversation
- The tip giver. “Ahhh. Ganito gawin mo… Ganyan talaga yan…” What I actually never liked about going to guidance counselors is the assurance that you will just get a laundry list of to-do and actionable points on your life, and sometimes you ask yourself upon leaving the room, “Did that person really care about me?” But of course, there also comes a time in our lives that we seek their help, but probably not when we just want to share to some people. Sometimes, when we share, we just immediately get that strong advice. This is probably the worst feeling of all – it makes you somehow feel that you are weak. That your problem is just easy, that it is very actionable, that you just need to do this and that.
- The amnesia person. “H’wag mo na isipin”. The one makes you forget whatevery you’re thinking and feeling. Makes you feel that everything will be fine if you forget. Sounds good and caring, but at then of the day, there is still this space in the conversation that you want to hear an enlightenment, or a cultivation of the conversation rather than just dumping it all.
I do not want to take it to other end of the pendulum since I know some people rant a lot of things and oversize them, and seek sympathy that it gets tiring to listen to the petty rants they have in the world. (Ok, this is very rejectionist)
Sometimes, we just want our friends/colleagues to listen. We just want to unload the stress and paranoia on our minds to other people – not to give them burden, but just to share the sentiment and maybe find a common ground of vulnerability to the other person. We just want to hear first a few words of sympathy before we hear words of encouragement. More than that, we just do not want hear an advice right away, because we shared not to consult on what to do, but to give a piece of your life to other person.
An ear. A sincere concern.
Well, twitter has the ears. Just not the sincere concern.